photo from Negativity No More, wall photos Facebook

I'm still working on it...  Some days I feel like I am getting no where and I'm lazy and stuck and not doing much good in my life at all.  I know I have a way to go before I feel really good about myself.  I feel like maybe its a good thing that I'm feeling the need to do more, the need to challenge myself and the need to be a servant of God, helping others.  

My new home has been, what I referred to as my rehabilitation center.  I have always looked at it that way.  This is a place God himself sent me.  He hand picked everything about it, the complex, my apartment - everything.  God knows me so well and he knows I'm so very sensitive to my environment.  At the time I decided to move I was in no position to make a very wise decision on the actual apartment itself.  There were 2 I liked that were available and I couldn't decide which one to go with.  I left for a couple of hours when I returned one of them had been taken.  The decision was made for me.  

I can say with 100% confidence that was by Holy design.  This is the perfect location, the perfect size, its upstairs and safe, overlooking the central park in the complex and I feel so SAFE here in many - many ways!!    He put me here to heal, to rediscover myself and to find my path.  I think about that everyday. God placed me here and I'm healing.  The layers of pain, confusion and sadness are melting away.  Tracey is peeking through checking things out.  Slowly, but surely, she is coming out for short periods at a time; then, something frightens her and she scuttles back to her hiding place only to reappear in the next day or two to try again.  

I know I will get there, I'm seeing so many positive changes and I'm seeing so much change in myself.  I'm so much more relaxed and happy.  I'm beginning to enjoy things again and people.  I'm not sure if I'm getting in my own way somewhat at this point, it's hard to say...  It's still a process so, I try to not be too hard on myself but I am feeling the push to do a bit more; so, that must be a sign I'm ready to take a few more steps forward...  

Thank you God for your steadfast protection over me and Jake; for taking care of us so completely.  I couldn't have asked for anything more!!  Show me, light the way for me to go forward according to your plan!!  

Love!!  TR