Unconditional Love wall photos Facebook.

That's me....  Standing alone, absorbed in the beauty of the sunset and the tranquil movement of the tide; at the same time, surrounded by such potential for chaos.  The ocean is one, if not the most, powerful and destructive forces on the planet.  Yet, it also embodies such a calming serenity.


There I stand looking out over the sea, alone...  Wondering what is next...  I'm enjoying the peace and the beauty of the moment and yet hoping the tide doesn't suddenly rise and sweep me away in the dangerous undertow.  




~ TR

Lazy Sunday

I absolutely love this picture.  It reminds me of Cooper a little bit...  Anyway, it is something that made me laugh on this lazy Sunday morning.


It's over 100 degrees this weekend.  Jake and I are enjoying a lazy weekend before next weekend when he has a camping trip and then the following weekend when Grandma Frances and Lisa come out to visit...


I thought about going to the pool but, after seeing a handsome body builder at Sprouts amongst a whole bunch of pasty, flabby people I decided I definitely needed to exercise.  During that, I strained my back so I'm semi-laid up this afternoon.


Jake is playing games with his friends today...  I sure wished he had a sport he enjoyed...  Urg!  I'm going to look into boxing for him as well as the YMCA.


I'm really surprised no one even 'liked' this pic. on Facebook - lol.  I get all hurt when no one likes my posts.  Come-Onnn people how can you not 'like' this picture!!??  Get with the game!


Well, so much for my scattered ramblings for this lazy, hot Sunday!


~  TR

photo from Negativity No More, wall photos Facebook

I'm still working on it...  Some days I feel like I am getting no where and I'm lazy and stuck and not doing much good in my life at all.  I know I have a way to go before I feel really good about myself.  I feel like maybe its a good thing that I'm feeling the need to do more, the need to challenge myself and the need to be a servant of God, helping others.  

My new home has been, what I referred to as my rehabilitation center.  I have always looked at it that way.  This is a place God himself sent me.  He hand picked everything about it, the complex, my apartment - everything.  God knows me so well and he knows I'm so very sensitive to my environment.  At the time I decided to move I was in no position to make a very wise decision on the actual apartment itself.  There were 2 I liked that were available and I couldn't decide which one to go with.  I left for a couple of hours when I returned one of them had been taken.  The decision was made for me.  

I can say with 100% confidence that was by Holy design.  This is the perfect location, the perfect size, its upstairs and safe, overlooking the central park in the complex and I feel so SAFE here in many - many ways!!    He put me here to heal, to rediscover myself and to find my path.  I think about that everyday. God placed me here and I'm healing.  The layers of pain, confusion and sadness are melting away.  Tracey is peeking through checking things out.  Slowly, but surely, she is coming out for short periods at a time; then, something frightens her and she scuttles back to her hiding place only to reappear in the next day or two to try again.  

I know I will get there, I'm seeing so many positive changes and I'm seeing so much change in myself.  I'm so much more relaxed and happy.  I'm beginning to enjoy things again and people.  I'm not sure if I'm getting in my own way somewhat at this point, it's hard to say...  It's still a process so, I try to not be too hard on myself but I am feeling the push to do a bit more; so, that must be a sign I'm ready to take a few more steps forward...  

Thank you God for your steadfast protection over me and Jake; for taking care of us so completely.  I couldn't have asked for anything more!!  Show me, light the way for me to go forward according to your plan!!  

Love!!  TR

Love!!

Photo from Unconditional Love wall photos - Facebook

 I just love this pic :) 


~ TR

Somthing to smile about!!

Photo from Unconditional Love wall photos - facebook.

I felt like I had to post something HAPPY after my last entry.  It was a bit of a 'Debbie downer.'  I don't want to remove the post because it is important but I wanted something to smile about :)


I love this picture!!  


There is always something to make us smile if we choose to see it!!  


~  TR

Inspiriations...

Pic from Unconditional Love Wall Photos, Facebook

I have felt SO uninspired lately.  


I wish I could figure out what could create some pep in my step.  I feel like I'm in a lull as far as knowing what to do with my life.  Although the last two years have been quite stressful and draining.  I have gone through a major shift in my life and I have been adjusting.  I guess a lull is well deserved...  Maybe, I just need to sit still and just 'be' for now.  It's ok if, once in awhile, there is just a steady flow to our routine; it can give us time to catch our equilibrium and find our focus.    


What may be the best thing for me right now is to re-establish my performance levels in all areas of my life.  Certainly my job has suffered, my body has been neglected, and my focus has been completely thrown off.   It could be Gods way of telling me, this is the time to re-discover yourself, this is the Phoenix rising from the ashes (so to speak).  Not only to re-discover but possibly re-invent myself.  From a stressed out, miserable person to a confident, transformed woman entering the 2nd half of her life in the best shape ever physically and mentally!  


HA!  I think I just had an 'Aha moment!!'  


More to come...  


~TR

Bloom Where You are Planted

Photograph by Lisa Epp - Etsy

No matter our circumstances, we have a choice to blossom, to shine, to stand out like a bold, colorful, fearless flower that blooms among the weeds in the desert.  :)


Be strong - choose your life!!

~  TR

Answers

From Unconditional Love Facebook Wall photos

The answers come to us in whispers; as quiet as the rustling of leaves on a tree.  It's a slight shift in the wind.  
The answers are right there, all around us, inside of us...  We just need to believe in them.  

~  TR

Mr Grey??

Pic off 'Chris Hemsworth pics' - Google

Chris Hemsworth...  


Possible Mr Grey for the movie.  
I think I can live with that!!

Oh My...

Pic from 'Unconditional Love' Wall photos, Facebook

There was a time I thought I would NEVER want another man in my life.  EVER.  Lately - I'm craving love? Intimacy? Romance?  Partnership?  I don't know which one specifically.  Maybe it's just the fantasy of some 'night in shining armor' coming to sweep me off my feet.  


I know I don't want what I've had in the past.  I know I don't want what I see most of my friends have in their 'partners.'  Maybe I'm just fantasizing about being carried away by a man who will take care of me.  That man is very rare and probably not someone I will ever come across.  


I don't know what has caused this change of heart, I really don't.  I have been through so much heartache in the past 10 years.  I have been kicked around, lied to, played with, pushed to the side and dumped on.  I don't know why I would ever want to open my heart up again to another 'man.'  It seems so sensless to me.  But, there is a deep part of me that is sexual and is loving and wants to feel loved and intimate with another person.  There is another part of me that wants no part of that complication in my life.  


I love hard and when I fall in love I go a little crazy.  I have even written a letter to myself should go into 'crazy love' mode to help keep me somewhat lucid.  


Is there a man out there that can handle me?  I really don't know.  I'm a handful.  On the other hand, I'm worth it.  This man must handle headstrong, independant, moody, quick tempered Tracey to get Loving, sexy, affectionate, giving, loyal, sweet Tracey...  


Believe me, sexy Tracey (in and of herself), is worth the work!!


Good luck boys!  ;-)

Unknown of which site this quote came from.


Today was tough.  
Today was another step in a long arduous journey
Today was another validation that what I did was necessary.
Making a decision that is as heartbreaking as it is transformative is not fun, easy or quick.  
There is no choice but to keep moving forward and try to not look back.
Keep faith and believe in a better tomorrow. 
  

~  TR

Mr Grey...

I think I have found - well, 1st 'Mr Grey' at least in my mind.  I mean I literally gasped when I saw this picture, my jaw dropped and I said; Oh, THAT is Grey!! Oh my...  


Luckily, no one reads my blogs b/c I totally stole this picture...   

~  TR

''That which is Necessary is Never Unwise.'' 

~  Star Trek Movie 2009



Three years ago I clung to this quote from the movie Star Trek.  I was at a point in my life where I had to make, literally, a life changing decision.  This decision would tear my family apart and send me off into a direction in which I had no way of knowing where myself or my son would end up; but, if I knew anything at all, I knew it was necessary.  


I heard this again today when I watched Star Trek and it took me back to a day in which fear of the unknown almost stopped me from moving forward.  


Two years later, I'm happier, more relaxed and settling into my new future.  It's not been perfect and there are challenges every day but, my every day is also more free and peaceful than it has been in years.  I'm just beginning to see how positively my attitude and outlook on life have  improved.  I'm so much more relaxed and at peace.  


I love being in my OWN place, one I can now call my sanctuary and one I look forward to coming home to every day.